No Way Out

He does not know how to get out and what to do.

He seems to have taken the right way.
Looking around,
He recognizes the signs of happiness,
and - encouraged to be on the right road -
accelerates and runs.

Closes his eyes to enjoy the breeze of the air scratching his face.
He hears the voices around him
crowded,
intertwined and
confused.
Sounds and colors are mixed,
the space expands and the time becomes infinite.
His heart stops beating, he opens wide his arms …
He's flying.

In the narrow and inaccessible meanders of his life he unravels.
He hovers over the roofs without grazing them to not lose altitude.
He feels strong.
Each stride makes him take more share.
His life is under control.

He embraces and hold her,
to take her higher …
He's happy.

This is only the dream of a loser,
the one who could give so much,
but that has given up instead,
just after the failure of the first take-off,
under the pressure of the awareness of his weaknesses and defectiveness.

How bad of him.
How many thoughts and concerns for the mother.
What a disappointment to his father.
His humanity is very minor and petty.
He's a little thick.

To love without asking anything, he said.
Never worked for him,
perhaps even worse was this formula when applied to his life,
when it led him
To love without loving himself.
This was the antechamber of the madness,
the way that brought him to the abyss of self-destruction,
the worst mistake ever made.

Too much time has passed.
The weary bones and atrophied muscles,
force him to the ground,
to a life of hardship and resignation.

He is not the person who wanted and could have been.
A life damned wrong..

He looks around and all is dark.
Wrapped around by high walls,
darkness and by the indifferent sky.

Hi tries to ask for help
without even believing to being helped.

Even God turns away,
right where there is actually a hope of resurrection.
He can understand Him.

With full knowledge of still being mistaken,
he thinks back on what had been:
An intense and full life of love and failure.

Narrows into a wistful smile and let go.