Surrender ...

I'm sitting here on your couch trying to read, to do something that distracts me, but my brain is completely off.

I do not understand why a lump in my throat, I would cry.
Indeed, yes, I feel lonely, but that loneliness that you cannot do anything for. I feel empty.

I watch the video you sent me and remember those words that you give me from the altar. I think of the courage you had to throw everything away, to empty your old glass and fill it again. And then I see myself, I see the effort of emptying my glass, to finally leave it empy.

The correction of the wrong side of my life has cost me the auto-elimination from the context of self-esteem, well-being and of love which unknowingly was the reason of my life. And in this emptiness the echo of my cries strikes and breaks me down.

Drowned in the awarness to have established only wrong relationships with you, with whom I loved and I don't, now I am confused. Passengers and instant feelings are mixed with old memories.

Today on the bus there was the usual mad in front of me. Mirrored by the window, He talked to himself. He said words of comfort, saying he was encouraged because "there is still the Surgery," ...
Do not tease me, but I looked in my portion of the window ... looking for my reflection ... But even it was not there.

Now I sit, I sit down by the Sea of ​​Galilee, and I cast my nets, because I'm tired of pursuing my unattined happiness.

Do not grieve.